Images for Lent, Inspired by Light

Ah, the beauty of hardwood floors. And of light coming in through the window.

And to me there is beauty in the simple lines, the clear delineations. This is this area; that is that area. All combining to form a whole, but each separate from the other. It looks so nice and neat. So orderly.

My life is not that way, and neither are the lives of many people I talk with. And anyone who checks my blog, or gets updates, can pretty well count on the fact that if it has been a while since I last wrote, it means life has not been neat and orderly in the meantime. Sometimes it's hard to even remember what has been going on that has kept me from writing. Since last time, I can look at my calendar and see a speaking engagement, a retreat planned and led, dinner guests or overnight guests many weekends, three concerts attended, a professional conference out of town, my birthday, and a day trip out of town. An audition. Oh, and physical therapy sessions were added to my schedule in the past week.

All that in addition to regularly scheduled work.

When I write it all out, I feel a bit gentler toward myself for not taking the time to sit and write. And I'm thankful for all the wonderful people and music and encounters. Especially the physical therapy, which even makes it possible to use the computer without the continual pain I'd felt for months.

But today has been a day of staying home, with no guests other than welcoming the presence of rest and peace. Ahhhhh.

And this seems now like a good time to share this prayer, which is engraved on the candle holder above and sits on the desk across the room from me:

O God of peace,
who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved,
in quietness and confidence shall be our strength:
By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray, to thy presence,
where we may be still and know that thou art God;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

It is the prayer that we prayed at the beginning of the centering prayer group I used to meet with, until our schedules no longer allowed. But we will be meeting during Lent, and I do so look forward to that.

And of course it isn't just scheduled activities that keep us from peace. It's the activity of our minds and hearts, perhaps, that does so as much as, or sometimes more than, the outward activities. Which is one reason prayer is so important to me. It helps order my mind, orient my heart. It makes it possible to go into a maelstrom of activity, or into the maelstrom of other people's struggles (a big part of my work), and even into the maelstrom of my own heart and mind, and to have a center of peace and quiet in the midst of it all.

I'm thankful for Lent. A time to remember we are dust. A time to focus on prayer and fasting. A time to at least try to see ourselves in a clearer light, and to be thankful for the Spirit that animates our dust and loves us even in our messiness and disorder, bringing peace and order if we will accept them.

Paolo Sotto Voce

"Sotto Voce" just came to me...I suppose he is beneath the voice of the piano, if anyone were to be playing it. And to get the picture I had to be very quiet, because he does not like cameras. If he hears the turning-on sound, he generally makes himself scarce.

In this case maybe he would not have, because he was working hard on his rawhide treat, and it's pretty hard to get his attention away from that! Which made it a good time to take the picture.

And I just think it's funny. I didn't grow up with dogs in the house, so to have one chewing his rawhide under the piano and bench is just funny to me.

Maybe one day I'll get a completely silent camera with no flash and get some decent closer-up pictures of him.

Eleventh Day: Pandoro instead of Pipers

For whatever reason, panettone (a cake with little pieces of dried fruit scattered throughout the batter) shows up in displays all over the place in this city at Christmastime. Well, maybe not all over the place. That would be overstatement. I haven't seen it in Superlo or Kroger or in lots of other places. But in the stores that are likely to carry an imported cake from Italy, panettone is what appears on the shelves.

And you'd think I'd be excited about a cake imported from Italy. But, no. Panettone does not appeal to me in the least. I can't stand the little dried fruit pieces, and they ruin the whole thing, at least for my taste. Obviously, others have a different subjective experience. Or else a whole lot of panettone is being bought and given and not eaten. I don't know.

Another cake was always on the shelves in Italy, though. Pandoro, literally "bread of gold" (pane di oro.) I liked it so much, I tied one to my backpack and carried it all the way home the first time I went home for Christmas. The customs officers looked at me funny, but it was worth it.

A shop called Mantia's used to carry pandoro, though they never had as many of them as they had panettone. Still, if I got there early enough in the season, I could usually find one. But Mantia's closed two or three years ago (written sadly, with a sigh), and we haven't had pandoro since then.

This year, as a shot in the dark, I asked the chef at Fratelli's if she might have any idea what pandoro was and where I could find it. I say it was a shot in the dark because, despite the Italian name of the restaurant, the owner is not Italian but from northern Europe, and I didn't know until I just now looked her up that she studied in Italy.

Anyway, my intuition must have been in good form that day, because it turned out she knew exactly where to look for pandoro. I never would have thought to try TJMaxx, but that's what she suggested. I had never even been to a TJMaxx before, but I made the drive down Summer Avenue to the closest one, and sure enough, amidst about 50 miniature boxes of panettone, they actually had four boxes of pandoro. The real size, which is enough for about ten servings.

I bought three and left one, in case someone else like me came there just in search of this golden treasure.

And so, we finally had pandoro for Christmas once again, and opened it for the first time with friends from Italy who just happened to be in town for the holidays, along with espresso from Italy.

It's another of those things that are not official Christmas presents, but something I will treasure about this particular Christmas season.

And if you want to read a funny post about panettone from someone who dislikes it perhaps even more than I do, go here. You have to read the comments for full effect.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas...

...I am finally able to post some pictures of our Christmas decorations, as my true love sent them to me on the ninth day of Christmas.

I already miss the scent of the wreath when coming and going. (It's still up but has pretty much lost its pungency.)

I still think it's funny that we have a dog bed under the piano. I wonder how many pianos have that. It's like a cave for them.

Wish we had a real cello in the house....

One of my favorite pieces of furniture from Grandmother's house.

The two little cornhusk angels were Grandmother's, too. One is singing and the other playing cymbals. Seems there was a third one at her house, but I don't know what became of it.

More autumnal than Christmas on this end of the bookcase. But I just love those leaves and other tree-ey things.

Hmmm. I don't think I realized how many musical things we have around till just now. The little piano was a gift from dear friends some years back.

Wow, just as I was saying...Here's a horn in great need of polishing and a new red string.

And Santa Claus, also from Grandmother's house. I can't figure out just what he was made to contain, but he sure is cute with an orange on his head.

Not exactly decorations here, but in case anyone was curious about the book, here you can see enough information to look it up for yourself. We've really enjoyed it. And while I don't know why my true love decided to take this picture, it is kind of neat that my Bible is red and goes so well with the book. It's the Bible my daddy gave me when I was five. He also sent it to be rebound for me several years ago when it was ailing from age and many page turnings over the years.

Well, I didn't have any pictures of lords a-leapin'. Maybe next year.

Christmas Present

What do you get for a man who has everything?

Happy New Light Year

We moved into our house two years ago yesterday. On New Year's Eve. Not because we wanted to, but it was the way the contracts on the houses worked out.

So for nearly two years I dreamed of painting walls. Many of the walls of the house were, and some still are, a dark brownish color. People have called it khaki, but it reminds me more of the darker areas of shitake mushrooms. In full sunlight it looks nice, but once the sun starts setting and the artificial lights come on, it just looks dark. And in hallways it was terrible, like being in a cave, unless you wanted to turn the light on every time you walked through the hall. And it seemed that at least half the light was absorbed by the color, so it was still darkish.

Well, even though it wasn't officially a Christmas present, I say the best Christmas present for me this year was that my brother came and painted two rooms and two hallways, and that my husband had the idea of asking him to do it. I felt so blessed, not just in getting the rooms painted, but in being able to come home between errands or appointments and converse with "the painter" about childhood memories, or how my nieces and nephews are doing, or projects we are working on. It was fun, unlike the usual experience of having workers in the house.

Light cream and light yellow now brighten what were the darkest areas of our house. It's wonderful! A perfect way to celebrate moving into the house two years ago and to bring in a new year.

The new light in the house has gotten me noticing sunlight on the walls in these newly painted rooms, but also all over the place. Today was an especially beautiful sunny New Year's Day, so I decided to take some pictures as part of the celebration.

Happy New Year! May it be filled with light!

Still Life

It's blurry but beautiful. Like so many memories, no?

My friend Margo came over for a cup of tea. She admired the bowl, and I was entranced by the candlelight on the oranges, and we decided it was just a beautiful moment to capture. I didn't have a tripod and don't know which setting to use for such a scene, so this is what I got. And I think I like it this way, because the blurring of the boundaries adds to the effect of the overall unity of the moment. And adds a softness, a gentleness, which life certainly needs wherever there is still life. I think without softness and gentleness--with too many clear, sharp lines--life in its fullness can cease to be. Or can frighten with its starkness. Or distort with its exactitude.

I'll take it blurry and gentle.

(I just realized that this likely sounds terribly like what an INFP or INFJ might write. Was reading about personality types today [based on the Meyers-Briggs system] and reminded that I can come across as probably nonsensical to a lot of people. So be it. I think in symbols and metaphors, and my mind is always seeing a bigger picture than can fit into words. Maybe I sound blurry!)

Merry Christmas

With candles.

And a really wonderful book of readings for Advent and Christmas.

And candles again. Can't have too much light in December.

The oh-so-cute bag in which Someone placed the oh-so-lovely gift he gave me. And in the background one of the oh-such-fun new water glasses I bought the other day, with the word "water" in several languages around the glass.

Fascinated by the bubbles on the baking pan as I rinsed it.

Steamed cornbread and other bread crumbles, onion, celery, etc., waiting to be made into dressing, baked along with a sweet potato casserole. And the makings for a green salad with oranges, cranberries, and pecans, eventually all packed up and loaded in the car.

And then the drive to Arkansas. More on that to come.

I hope your day was merry and full of light. And of the Light.

Otter! And I Won! (Sort of)

Part One--The Otter

I confess to impulse shopping occasionally. Very occasionally, actually. My more frequent tendency is to see something I like, but do the "wise" thing of saying, "Well, if I leave it and go home and am still thinking I want/need it a week or two from now, then I'll come back and get it."

Over time I've learned that that is often a very wise thing to do.

And over time I've also learned that you can lose the chance to get something you really wanted, because it's not there anymore when you go back!

So, when I saw this otter mug for sale at the Memphis Pottery Guild show, I thought it over and decided I really did want it, and it was much easier to get it on the spot than to drive to Mountain View, Arkansas, for it later.

Why an otter mug? Because years ago when I took a little personality "test," I came out mostly otter, with golden retriever as a strong second. Over the years, the otter in me (fun-loving, enthusiastic, etc.) has frequently struggled to keep swimming!

One time when I was out at St. Columba retreat center and had a pair of binoculars (an unexpected and thoughtful gift from my husband!) with me, I was looking out at the lake and saw something I'd never seen . . . an otter! And I could see how they'd gotten the reputation for playfulness and energy. I had more fun watching that little guy swim and turn and flip and float! I'll never forget it, and it was that otter sighting that reminded me of the test taken years before and how I needed to bring more "otterness" back into my life.

So, the otter mug is to remind me that there is more to life than being a golden retreiver, important as that may be. Sometimes you just gotta have fun, and seeing this mug in the morning is a great way to start the day with a smile.

Part Two--Why I Won (Sort of)

Well, obviously, I figured out how to get photos on my blog again. So I "won." But the "sort of" is because it still makes no sense to me why the thing did what it did to begin with, and why what I did fixed it. And I don't like the change I had to make in order to get it to work.

But I confess to being proud of myself for at least going on my hunch and trying what I did (relabelling a photo file). I just wish I could talk to somebody and understand it.

Technology and My Dad

Technology is often on my mind, because you can't get away from it, and because for me it becomes more and more challenging.

My dad is often on my mind because--well, just because he is my dad, and I learned a lot from him. And continue to.

Tonight the two converge.

I sat down to share a photo and write about it, but for WHATEVER reason, this program, or this computer, or this webpage, or SOMETHING will not let me access my photos. A box is popping up that I have never seen before, saying something that makes no sense to me whatsover. By that, of course, I do not mean that I do not understand each word and the grammatical correlations of the words, the syntax, etc. It's just that all put together it is meaningless to me because it's addressing a problem I don't even understand, let alone understand how to follow the directions for the solution.

And now the screen is telling me in red words, "An error occurred while saving," so who knows if even these words are going to be publishable?

Hmmm. Apparently they were publishable, because with my limited technological savvy I pushed "Publish Post," as I always do, and it worked.

So, how does my dad fit into this?

It's that I remember a time many years ago when he said, in the context of comparing a newer car to an older car, something like, "The more fancy little things they put into a car, or into anything, the more things there are that can go wrong." I think at the time we were talking about having automatic windows versus the kind you literally rolled up and down.

And a few years later I recall his remarking that he missed the days when, if he had a problem with his car, he could open up the hood and have a pretty good chance of figuring out what was wrong, and even a good chance of then being able to fix it. But that once they started putting computers into cars, it became impossible for people to do their own diagnosing and repairing, because the technology was beyond what could be handled with basic tools and knowledge.

So now I can't put photos on my blog, and I do not have the technological know-how to even understand why, let alone do anything about it.

Ugh.

And I don't want to spend my time learning all the in's and out's of the technology, because it will just change in a month or two! I want to take pictures, and I want to write.

But for now I guess I'll just "Publish Post" and see if I can find someone to help me....