Saturday, March 06, 2010

More than a Month!

Wow, I knew I hadn't written in a while, but I didn't realize how long that while had been.

Welcome back to my own blog, eh? I just happened to come across it while leaving a comment on someone else's blog. (Half kidding, but that really is what brought me here.)

We've still got boxes in five rooms of the house. Still waiting to have my office walls patched and painted so I can unpack all my books and things in here. Still looking at the Bermuda grass in the front yard and wondering what we can do to add a little personality out there. Still functioning without a lot of kitchen things.

In the past week, though, I actually had a day that stood out. Because somewhere in the latter half of it, I realized that it felt like a very normal day. That I felt some kind of normalcy inside myself, and that it felt very good.

It's not that I've gone around for months thinking, "I don't feel normal," but the truth is that life has not been normal for quite some time, and that has affected me. It isn't that it has been bad, and it really has not been as stressful as I expected it to be. But it hasn't been normal, and I haven't felt like myself as much as I did the other day in quite a while.

So, a day that struck me with its normal sort of feeling was a very nice thing!

On that day, I had two counseling sessions, both with clients who've been with me for a while and have made good progress. That always feels good. I also had a meeting with a longtime mentor, one of those grounding kind of encounters that make you see that someone you respect a lot, who has known you through thick and thin times, continues to have faith in you. It's the kind of feedback we all thrive on, but which has been scarce since leaving my longer-term job over a year ago.

I also got to spend time outside in the sun! A cancellation gave me a block of free time, so I went to the little lake at Audubon Park and ate my lunch on a bench, communing with sun, water, trees, and ducks. And even with a kindly older man who came and sat on the next bench over. Ah, sunlight and warmth after a longer-and-colder-than-usual winter! What a blessing.

Oh, and I also spent some time in a Harding swing on the grad school campus after a meeting there. Now that's a grounding experience, for sure. No telling how many of those swings I've swung in over the years, and how much good they've done for my mind and soul.

Then piano lessons were a joy, as always.

And after three evenings in a row of being away from home (a chorus rehearsal, doing a presentation on intercultural communication at UofM, and teaching a class at church), I was home Thursday evening, made a real supper, and enjoyed sitting at table with my dear one.

It was a lovely day, and as I said, at some point, I just had this moment of realizing that I felt more like myself than I had in a long time, more "at home" in my own mind and body than I could remember feeling in months. It gave me hope that more such days were ahead, that I might soon feel settled enough to see beyond the immediate challenges, and it just felt good.

And today was another warm day. Warm enough to do some work outside. I spent a couple of hours or more pulling wisteria off our garage and cutting down/cleaning out the privet hedge along the north fence. I think those bushes must have been planted when the house was built almost 70 years ago. I didn't know privet hedge could get that thick! It's taller than than the house, in places.

So, today felt pretty normal, too. I look forward to cleaning more out and planting some flowers around this place. And hoping to actually grow some vegetables this year. We'll see.

Life is an adventure, for sure. But I'm glad for the grounding that makes flying possible and enjoyable. Good to have some of that lately.

And I trust that I won't wait another month to write again. And I assure you that I am going to write again about running barefoot, a theme that got lost amongst all the recent adventure but is waiting to be taken up again.....


Carisse said...

Welcome back! It's nice to hear your voice.

Stephanie said...

Yes, it is! And I do hear your voice as I read your beautiful words.

Sheila said...

Thanks, friends! (And why did I say "amongst"? Is that my voice? It must have come from something I've been reading lately....)

Lucy said...

Welcome back! What a lovely sunny post, spring really is closing in, I believe.

I think it's one of the good things about getting older, that we simply appreciate normal times and feelings, 'no toothache' days!

Lawrence Underwood said...

You are more than welcome to hone your privet eradication skills in our backyard.

Sheila said...

Well, when we get down there, who knows? Right now my thumbs are both sore, and I think it must be from the privet project. Haven't been practicing piano that much!

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